uhm.. yes. It’s finally out.

In case you wondered what the heck this thing is.. It’s an Australian spouse visa So I get to be with my husband without having to leave the country after 3 months of stay, like what I’ve been doing for the past 2 years hehe..

I am so glad it’s out. So glad everything turns out okay in time.

I praise You, my Lord. Thank You for Your love.

1. Have you ever been asked out?
uhm.. not when we weren’t official. does that count?

2. Where did you get your default picture?
from flickr.

3. What’s your middle name?
Medey ; dad claimed that it was his own creation, a hybrid between the city I was born in and the city he knew we would live in : Medan and Surabaya. but some said it was my grandpa who gave it to me

4. Your current relationship status?
legally married under Australian Law, but can’t wait for the official one in a month time. so what do you call that? :p

5. Does your crush like you back?
I surely hope so! haha.

6. What is your current mood?
excited, nervous, sleepy.

7. What colour of underwear are you wearing?
uhm. peach?

8. What colour shirt are you wearing?
pink and with grey paws all over it.

9. Missing something?
food. im hungreh

10. If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?
everything happens for a reason, so no I wouldn’t change a thing. Every moment is a blessing.

11. If you must be an animal for one day, what?
A cute, plump, chirpy bird.

12. Ever had a near death experience?
erh..sort of. almost crossing the road with the traffic coming right at me, turned out I looked at the wrong traffic light? anyways..

13. Something you do a lot?
twirling my haairrr~

14. The song stuck in your head?
It Had to Be You – Tony Benet.

15. Who did you copy and paste this from?
Mira Pangkey !

16. Name someone with the same birthday as YOU?
a cousin from mum’s side, Heidy, and hubby’s cousin, Eugene.

17. When was the last time you cried?
2 nights ago. stressed out about all of these wedding thingy.

18. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Hard not to have done it when you’re a singer and a choir member at church (half-copying Mira’s answer, hehe..)

19. If you could have one super power what would it be?
to create a warm, fuzzy, loving atmosphere.

20. What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
their eyes, and sense of humor.

21. What do you usually order from starbucks?
a hazelnut latte, no sugar.

22. What’s your biggest secret?
well if i wrote it down here, the answer would be invalid, wouldn’t it?

23. Favorite colour?
Red!

24. Do you still watch kiddie shows or tv shows?
not that much anymore.

26. What are you?
someone who has been blessed big time.

27. Do you speak any other language?
Indonesian, Javanese, a tiny bit of Palembangnese.

28. What’s your favourite smell?
my hubby’s =”) but if I have to give another answer, it’d be the fresh-laundered shirts of my cousins in Jakarta. the smell reminds me of my childhood since I grew up with them.

29. Describe your life in one word what would it be?
Blessed. –> not changing Mira’s answer

31. Have you ever kissed in the rain?
mmm.. no. why can’t we kiss somewhere else?

32. What are you thinking about right now?
maybe I should take a bite of that apple right there. hungry.

33. What should you be doing?
SLEEP! xD

34. Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
like, really, seriously angry? a cousin. still asking for God’s mercy to let go of it.

35. How often do you talk to God?
every now and then. mostly at night when everything is quieter.

36. Do you like working in the yard?
not really, no. depends.

37. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
haha I LOVE my surname. Never fails to get people speculating or asking questions.

38. Do you act differently around the person you like?
chirpier, usually.

39. What is your natural hair colour?
black, and proud of it.

40. Who was the last person to make you cry?
myself.

Initially, these are not what I wanted. What I had in mind was a small, private wedding, where every single thing you see has some meaningful touch along with it. Where everyone knows each other, and you know them when you glance around the room.

But not these parties.

The first party will be in Bali, the so-called private one, which ended up to be attended by 140 guests. Of course it is still qualified as private, compared to the 600-plus guests invited to the second party in Surabaya. The Melbourne one will be attended by around 200 people. So yes, me and Andrew will spend our special days with almost a thousand people, people who we don’t necessarily know.

Disappointed? Yes, we are. Andrew’s had the same idea as mine, where he can prepare everything according to his standards; the decor, the sound system, the color theme, the food. But nah, the parents will have that control. He said I am luckier because at least the Bali one is using my color theme.

I have been so engulfed in this thing, I’ve been wrapping my finger so very tightly around everything that all these blessings have started to turn into a curse. I’ve been stressing out, losing my sleeping hours, failing my diet, and hurting my family. I’ve been fighting a lot with my dad, my mom and Andrew. And what’s even sadder, I’ve stopped involving God in everything.

I thought I could do everything on my own. I thought I could handle everything, making sure that all the loopholes are covered. But along the way, I am losing myself. I’m turning into this monster who gets very angry when things go wrong, or not as I requested, and I become very selfish. I throw venomous words to my parents, I don’t go to church, I screamed at my fiance, and I command and push people like a maniac. A bitch, in short. Or a short bitch. A bridezilla. Call it whatever you like.

And it’s killing me inside.

I become ungrateful, I despise things that others could only dreamed of, in some cases. Not everyone can have TWO big parties; one in Bali, and the other in Surabaya with all those facilities. I am not bragging here, I’m just showing you how ungrateful I am that despite all these things I’ve been hating my life for months!

I had a fight with my dad two days ago, over a guest list. It’s just a bloody guest list, and we actually have the space for one extra person, but I was so perfectionist I didn’t want to change things around just because of this person and Dad shouted at me. Again. That must’ve been the fourth or fifth time since this wedding preps begun that he had to scream madly at me because of the stupid guest listing. And he rarely gets mad at anyone. Couple of months ago I even got angrier and I tore apart everyone’s guest list, and called the parties off. But of course I couldn’t, almost everything have been paid for, or the deposits, at least. If I dare canceling anything that would be a suicide since I would be losing lots of money for nothing. But pride and emotions are playing up during this period, and I hate myself for that.

Andrew reminded me today, that I need to learn to let go. To see that what we’ve been having so far are such a blessing that I shouldn’t be feeling so depressed. He’s not getting the wedding he’s dreamed of himself, but he’s not as stressed as I am. Well, there are MORE bridezillas than groomzillas, I suppose. He scolded me, and said that “stop being sok tau, Daddy has been to LOTS of weddings!”. Of course God knows what to do best in this kind of situation. But I’ve been holding on to these preparations way too tight for my own good I started crushing everything, and crushing myself. I need to learn to let go.

Three hours and 4,677 kilometres apart, bowing our heads together we asked for Daddy’s forgiveness and mercy. I didn’t know how wedding preps could be so messy and mentally exhausting. Wouldn’t it be funny that you might get a mental breakdown for a supposedly the happiest day of your life? An oxymoron?

Andrew reminded me that when we start to let go, and let God plays His part (in which He is VERY GOOD AT!), nothing will go wrong. And someday, when we look back to the days, to these parties, we will say, “none of those are our works, it’s all by God’s grace”. He said that everything that has happened now has been by His grace; including how he got together with me. We would never thought that we’d be together, but look where we are now. It’s nothing else but God’s grace that has led us to this day. The reason I wrote this entry is also because later when I read it, I will be reminded that God’s grace is with me at this moment. And I am so grateful for this.

I am so grateful for the man God has given me. I’ve been sulking and bitching and kicking him around for these past months, and still he keeps coming back to me with his loving arms, eager to cuddle me. Still wanting me. I am so grateful how much love God have for me. I have been leaving Him in the back seat for these past months, and still He stays close to me, wrapping me in His love and waiting until I let down my guard and quit being a smart-ass and let Him to guide me. Daddy, I’m sorry, Yuko kurang ajar.

I need to learn to see life as a blessing, not a burden. The glass is not half-empty anymore, it’s half-full now. I am in the best place and the best situation ever at the moment. And every other moment. Because it’s all by God’s grace. He makes it perfect.

I’ve got 5 more Sundays until I officially become Mrs. Andrew Affandi. Although, I might be one already according to the Australian Law hehe. But 5 more Sundays until I can be with him all the time. I really can’t wait. I can’t wait to start my life with him, to see where Daddy will take us. I can’t wait to prove what has been said by Joyce Brothers, that “marriage is the salt of daily life; it makes everything just a little bit better”.

fingers crossed! There are still loads of works I need to tackle, to-do-lists to cross out, but nonetheless, excited for the good things to come!

Good night, Daddy. Thank You for being so sweet and kind and patient.

“.. you could’ve been anyone at all, 
I’m so glad it was you..”
Carole King.

But I guess God had something else in store for me that evening. At the discipleship session, KD mentioned a verse from Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this; While we were still sinners, Christ died for us”. And it rang true to my heart. 

I love God, I do. And I know and believe that He loves me dearly, too. But as I went through new revelations, challenges, Winter Camps, disappointments and everything else He let me to have, I still have that fear in my heart that I need to keep proving myself to others for them to accept me. An acute insecurity, if you may call it so.  

Here’s a little story about me:  

I was bullied when I was a kid. It started from a misunderstanding when I was 10, and the bully continued until I was 14. They called me names; “cockroach”, “monkey”, “rich, spoiled girl”, “toilet”. They went pass my house on their bikes or motorbikes and shouted those names, letting the whole house and the whole street to hear it. They stole my water bottle, plunged it into the gutter and gave it back to me, soaked in dirt and God knows what. They stole my pencil case on lunch break and hid it somewhere in the class. They shot at me using plastic BB guns, and I knew God covered me with His hands when they missed my face or neck, whatever they were aiming at because I found a small green bullet under my school uniform collar without it touching my skin. I was psychologically tortured in my own car every single day for a year by the other kids that paid for pick-up service to and from school. Yes, you might think why didn’t I just kick them out or tell my dad, and how stupid I was to let them do that to me. Even my driver couldn’t stand it he threatened one of the cowards because the little guy gave me ‘the finger’ for 2 days straight, and my bestfriend said if she was me she would just tell her dad so her dad could shoot those jackasses (her dad is in Navy). But I just couldn’t fight them, because I chose not to. Mum taught me to let them do whatever they like, they’d grow tired of it eventually. “The revenge doesn’t belong to you”, she said. And she was right. 

 Though I almost never admit it, but those period of my childhood left a deep scar in my life. I might appear strong, I didn’t shed a single tear for what they did (as far as I remember), and I rarely mention that part of my life to anyone before. But it affected the way I see myself, and the world. I always feel that I am judged wherever I go, I ha

ve to prove myself at certain people and I often find or think that I have failed doing so. I could feel that all eyes are pierced at me whenever I enter the room, scrutinizing me and pointing at my weaknesses. I’ve always felt discouraged and scared whenever I was given a new role or project, because I just don’t think that I could keep up to the standard. I’ve got a serious case of insecurity, because I didn’t feel accepted. I often feel that whatever I do doesn’t seem right, and when I think it’s right I was greatly opposed and challenged. At times I felt that I didn’t belong, and when I do I have this fear that one day these people would kick me out because I’m not good enough.  

 From those issues, I ended up having that transactional way of thinking when it comes to people. “You did that to me last time, so I do this to you now”. Just so I feel like I do it fairly, meeting up to their standards so they’ll see that I’m good enough so I won’t be left out. Self-centeredness, or low self-esteem? You decide. 

I learn that it’s not how mercy does it. Mercy is not transactional, it’s freely given, though undeserved. It doesn’t matter if I did the right thing, or keep falling into the wrong side of the road, that mercy of God is still flowing for me. Regardless. In Hebrews 4:16 it is said that “let us approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need”. We need to understand that we need mercy everyday. For me, I can’t live with my low self-esteem haunting me everyday, telling me that I’m not worth having. God shows His mercy to me without fail, He gave me more than I deserve. He taught me that whatever happened in the past, I am still accepted. He said that whatever people may think or judge about me, I am still accepted. Romans 5:8, “.. while we’re still sinners, Christ died for us”. He wouldn’t gave up His unblemished life if He doesn’t accept me!! I know, and He knows that I will never be good enough because I am a sinner, but it doesn’t matter because He has accepted me anyway. 

And His mercy is available for all of us, too. Regardless of your background, your wrongdoings or the right ones, your capabilities or lack thereof, His love and mercy is abundant, it’s more than enough for us. He died for us even before we realize that we need His mercy. It doesn’t get any better than that! Nothing in this world could beat that! 

So yes, I may have low self-esteem, it’s normal, I’m a girl. Everybody gets to the bottom of the pit every now and then. Yes, I may have some hurtful pasts and nothing can erase those memories, but who doesn’t have bad memories. All that I need to know now is that I’m safe. I know where I belong. I don’t have to wait on people’s opinions about me and my life, because I know Whose opinions matter. 

Through this, I am also reminded on what I should do towards others. Be kind, because you don’t want anyone to go through the same rough paths you’ve gone through. Be thoughtful, because there are many who’ve got similar issues. If you don’t want to sit with them and listen to them, don’t judge. Insecurity cripples, but knowing that God understands our weaknesses and how He has His mercy ready for us even before we ask for it, is one of the best promises. And I tell you, His promises never ever fail. 

Your Truth has set me free, Lord. I am safe and secure, because I know whom I belong to. I praise Your glorious name!

Sometimes God allows things to be torn down in your life so that they can be built the right way.

~ Shei Atkins

I’ve been focusing on myself for the past month, and The Holy Spirit has been knocking on my heart to give time, give room for Him to move and restore me. But I just can’t keep my mind shut from all these things I need to prepare, and all these chaos that decide to appear now. I am so pumped up to make sure everything runs perfectly, make sure I’m not missing any loopholes and anticipating any mistakes, and being a total perfectionist. I have trouble sleeping at night, my mood is a wreck (poor my Andrew), and my heart is pumping during the day I think I’m going to get a heart attack anytime now.

I think I believe in myself way too much and run in full speed without asking Him. And that’s why God had no choice but to tackle me on the knee so that I’ll stop and listen to Him, before it’s too late. Having been in the same situation last year, I should’ve known better that I don’t have to wait till I’m stuck or failing THEN asking for His help. With all these crucial stuff needed to be done quickly I can’t help but being paranoid, but I need to remember that if He opens the way then nothing can stop Him (Romans 8:31). I am fully aware that I need to do my part, the best I can do, but I also need to realize that it is right to also give not the rest, but THE BEST to Him, which is that special space in my heart, and above all, my TRUST. To always come back to Him, regardless of my situations, so that all the things that come out of this will bring delight to Him, His works, and thus, to me as well. 

He tackled me, He said, “It’s enough for now!”, and I have no other choice now but to slow down. I know He did that because He wants to keep me safe, because He loves me so much He refuses to let me fall deeper. And He knows what’s in my heart, my wishes and my doubts. I was a bit worried about how things were seemed overlapping and so rushed lately, I didn’t even have time to think twice, so to speak. He answered my unsaid prayers, He knows me so well He gave the solutions even before I shared my concerns to Him (Romans 8:26). And I praise Him for that, I praise Him for His overwhelming love. He slows things down because He is guarding my steps so I may not stumble, so I may go through everything the right way.

Because of Him, I’m safe. And I can’t even describe how grateful I am ^-^
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coming back to Ecclesiastes 3:11.  

Singing has been a major part of my life, but I don’t assume you share my background. To appreciate this message you don’t even have to enjoy singing. But if that’s where you’re at, remember that God has a passion for singing. “Oh sing to the Lord a new song. Sing to the Lord all the earth … tell of his salvation from day to day” (Psalm 96:1-3; cf. Psalm 47:6).

The Bible contains over 400 references to singing and 50 direct commands to sing. We’re commanded twice in the New Testament to sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs (Ephesians 5:19; Colossians 3:16).

Why does God command us not only to praise him, but to sing praises to him?

We can begin by realizing that God himself sings (Zephaniah 3:17). Jesus sang hymns with his disciples. Ephesians 5 tells us that one of the fruits of being filled with the Spirit is singing. So we worship a triune God who sings, and he wants us to be like him.

How does music relate to words?

Some Christians think music supercedes the word, both in its significance and effect. Others think that music undermines the word. But God himself wants them together. He gave us music to serve to word. How music does this is the theme of this message.

Three Ways Singing Serves the Word

1) Singing can help us remember words.

Ever notice how easy it is to recall the words of songs you haven’t heard for 20 years? We store literally hundreds, even thousands of songs in our memory vaults. Music has an unusual mnemonic power. We remember patterns in music much better than patterns in words alone. Rhyme, meter and song are the most powerful mnemonic devices. They govern and restrict the way we say words and the time it takes to say them. Notice in Deuteronomy 31 that God uses music to help his people remember his words.

Implications

1. In the church we should use effective melodies, that is, melodies that people are able to remember and that they want to remember. And both familiar and new melodies have their place among the people of God. Some great hymn lyrics have been ruined by new melodies and others have been revived by it.

2. We should sing words God wants us to remember. It matters not only that we sing but also what we sing. Colossians 3:16 - It is the word of Christ, the gospel, that should dwell in us richly as we sing. The largest portion of our singing content should be the truths that we are responding to, not just words about the effect that truth has on us. Also, the lyrics of our songs should reflect the broad themes of Scripture. Ask yourself, If the teaching of our church was limited to the songs we sing, what would our people know?

3. We should seek to memorize songs. Don’t be too dependant upon screens or hymnbooks.

2) Singing can help us engage the words emotionally.

Music is a language of emotion in every culture of every age. It is capable of effecting us in profound and subtle ways (like when Saul’s spirit was calmed by David’s harp).

Why does music affect us deeply?

One reason is its associations. In our culture, a fast song in a major key is usually associated with happiness, whereas a slow song in a minor key is associated with sadness. Music can also bring forth old associations of things that happened in certain periods or experiences in our lives.

Musical skill also has a role in affecting us deeply. If it is played well it can affect us to a deeper degree, whereas poorly done music can be distracting or less effective.

Music helps us engage emotionally with the words we’re singing also by stretching things out. It gives us time to think about the words more carefully. Consider the repetition ofPsalm 136 or the hymn “It Is Well.” Through repetition the words and emotions are amplified.

Implications:

1. We need a broad emotional range in the songs we sing: reverence, awe, repentance, grief, joy, celebration, etc. The jubilant triumph of Christ’s victory over sin cannot be duly communicated in an acappella hymn.

2. We don’t need to pit different styles or traditions against one another. They each serve to help us in different ways.

3. Know that there is a difference between being emotional moved and spiritually enlightened. Music has a voice but we’re not always sure what that voice is saying. It can make us feel peaceful, but it can’t tell us that the Lord is our shepherd or that Jesus endured God’s wrath in our place to bring us eternal peace with God.

4. Singing should be an emotional event. And they should be religious affections. We won’t always be moved in the same way or to the same effect when we sing, but when the emotions aren’t there we should repent and cry out for mercy to feel them appropriately again. God is worthy of our highest, purest, and strongest emotions. Singing helps express and unite them. Singing without emotion is an oxymoron. Vibrant singing enables us to connect truth about God with passion for that truth. We can sing theologically profound truths and not be affected. But none of that changes the fact that God wants to use music to help break through the apathy and hardness of our heart and engage him emotionally.

3) Singing can help us use words to demonstrate and express our unity.

The first two points can be accomplished when we sing by ourselves, but this point needs other people.

People sing together in the strangest places: rock concerts, sporting events, birthdays, weddings, funerals. Singing together tends to bind us together. It enables us to spend extended periods of times expressing the same thoughts and passions. And when it comes to the church, it has significant implications.

Scripture doesn’t only speak about congregational singing–God can be honored when we sing alone or when soloists sing in the church. But it is clear that the dominant theme of Scripture is believers singing together. Jesus died to redeem a universal choir, and every individual voice matters. We are not called to listen to others sing or to sing by ourselves. We are called to sing together. The question is not, “Do you have a voice?” The question is, “Do you have a song?” If you’re redeemed by Christ’s cross then you do have a song.

Implications

1. We should sing songs that unite rather than divide the church. We can appreciate the diverse musical styles and genres, but we shouldn’t try and make church worship “something for everybody.” There should be a unifying musical center that focuses on the sound of the people themselves. God commands us to worship him with instruments, but the majority of the commands tell us to worship him in song. Instruments are only there to aid the singing. So if you never sing without instruments, you should start singing acappella at times.

2. Musical creativity in the church has functional limits. Your iPod shouldn’t be the starting point for selecting songs to sing together. We want to pursue a creativity that is undistracting and not just innovative.

3. We must be clear that it is the gospel and not music that unites us. We should guard against gathering together in churches based upon our musical preferences rather than according to our unity in the gospel. The gospel is what unites us. Ephesians 2:14 - Jesus has united us, not our music. I don’t connect with people at my church because they have the same song selection on their iPod. I love them because Christ has enabled me to love them.

The host of heaven is not united in their style of music but in the words of their song (Revelation 5:9-10). What kind of music do people from every tribe, tongue, people, and nation sing? We don’t know! But the Bible tells us what the focus should be: Worthy is the Lamb who was slain. The Lamb must always be central to our corporate singing. Why? Because Jesus is the one who makes it possible. God doesn’t hear us on account of our skill in singing. He hears it because it is in his Son. We shouldn’t look for music to move us to sing. God has already done something worthy of moving us. How can we then keep from singing?

4. Ask yourself, What are we doing to encourage our church in corporate singing? What are we doing to discourage it? Our singing should more and more resemble what we see in Revelation. Whatever we experience here in terms of the active presence of God, it is a mere glimmer of what is to come. In the new heavens and earth we will sing gloriously and for a long time. Our thoughts and passions will be focused, and we will have the strength to give him the glory he deserves. What a glorious thing to anticipate that time! And part of our singing here on earth is anticipation of what is to come.

[Editor's Note: The above is not a manuscript, but notes taken during Bob Kauflin's address at the 2008 Desiring God National Conference.]

Bob Kauflin travelled with the Christian group GLAD for eight years as a songwriter and arranger before becoming a pastor with Sovereign Grace Ministries in 1985. He is now the Director of Worship Development for Sovereign Grace, overseeing its music projects and teaching on congregational worship. He blogs at Worshipmatters.com and hosts the biennial WorshipGod Conference. He and his wife, Julie, have six children and an ever-growing number of grandchildren.

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May it encourages and inspires you, as it does me =) 

Me and Etha are going to be Sisca`s bridesmaids. The big day will be March 5, next month. We three have been together for almost 20 years. I knew Etha when I was in kindergarden, she was my sidekick when we took ballet lesson when we were 5. There were lots of happy and fall-out moments and drama between us throughout the years; fights and jealousy and competition over boys (ah, we all went through teens and the drama, weren’t we?), but I just knew that she`s going to be my best friend no matter what we`ve been through, and I was right Sisca was in my class in 1st grade. She`s got a bright voice, and I admired her for that. But we started to hang out together as a trio when we were 10 or 11, after we joined the kids` choir at church. We were pretty good at singing. We used to sing a cappella with harmony, and people would cheer us. Good old times Ah, I need to find those culun photos of us when we sang together at the elder`s home near church.

Now that Sisca`s getting married soon, me and Etha are honoured to be along her side on her special day. Thus, the fitting today. Sisca has tried some dresses before our session today, so she’s got some preferences for us to comment on. We went through a total of 5 wedding dresses, dived into a bargaining war with Sisca’s mum as the Captain, went through 5 to 6 bridesmaid dresses (which strongly, shamelessly indicated that me and Etha both need urgent dieting *sigh*), and another price war before we could go with photos of dresses to compare to and think about. And we just realized that we were there for more than 3 hours!! No wonder I was sooo hungry!

Scurrying ourselves to Tunjungan Plaza, our first stop was Fish & Co. because Etha hasn’t tried it. She seemed to like it at first, but when oil and cheese come together usually it won’t take too long before you feel ‘eneg’. I tried to finish mine, Etha wiped everything out, but Sisca didn’t feel to eat that much. She stopped after eating half of the fish, blaming the stress of the upcoming wedding for her losing appetite. Completely understandable. So we continued the night with hunting for shoes. I need pretty shoes, too. Those dresses were merciless, I need at least a pair of 10cm heels. I’ve got one that I really liked from Nine West, and they got my size, but the color was between blue and grey. Not a typical wedding color, so we decided to wait. After strutting from one pair of Swarovski-studded shoes (typical of Surabaya, the more bling the merrier) to the other, I found not a single shoe that was comfortable enough. All were born foot-killers. So we decided to stop for a while, and did a real therapeutic shopping. Following Sisca’s trail, I ended up buying a light and super cute pair of wedges, with red strawberries on a white background. And it was cheap! Only Rp 120,000 (shopping in Indo IS heaven), and it was at least 7cm Mum would be proud of me if she knew. Etha bought a floral halter top from Zara, and we concluded the night with some talks on the way home about life after marriage, especially Sisca’s; what she wanted, what she’s committed to do, her plans and all that.

Still can’t believe that we are actually talking about wedding and marriages and all sorts. I guess we’re all grown-up now And I thank God I have them, because having best friends around make everything a little bit better

Love you to death, girls *smooch*